Thursday, November 29, 2007

State-sanctioned marriage - is that really what we want?

Conservatives are funny people. One of their most prolific claims to fame is that they oppose big government, socialism in any form, and any intrusion on the privacy of the average American. Or so they claim...

But the truth is, they only oppose those things when it benefits them (as in not providing government benefits to the poor, preventing a national health care program that would cover all Americans, etc.). Mostly their opposition coincides with their estimation of what such government-run programs might cost them in taxes (which is usually much higher than what the reality would be).

However, they don't complain when the government intrudes on one of our most highly valued rights of passage - marriage. In fact, they actually advocate for stricter government regulation of what should be a very private and personal choice made by the individual, without government influence or oversight.

In Monday's NY Times, Stephanie Coontz writes an interesting review of the history of marriage regulation, and shows quite clearly that in today's world, a marriage license can no longer be used as a yardstick for determining one's duties and responsibilities, familial connections, or financial obligations.

I agree completely with Ms. Coontz's stance on this issue. Marriage should be a matter of personal choice, and should be based solely on the couple's level of affection, commitment, and willingness to share a life together. No one should need a "license" to marry, which is tantamount to having to ask for the government's permission to spend your life with the person of your choice.

Rather than having to apply for a license prior to marriage, couples should be able to register their union with the local government AFTER they have taken their vows. In this manner, there is a legal recording of the marriage (and all its obligations) and a method to ensure that neither party is a minor child or close blood relative - but without anyone having to ask the state's "permission" to get married in the first place.

This would, of course, effectively end the debate over same-sex marriage, as couples (regardless of gender) would not have to have a license to get married. And that would not be very palatable to the conservatives, who apparently don't mind the government sticking it's nose into our private lives, as long as it serves their political agenda.

**Note: This article first appeared at: http://themindofmoe.typepad.com/moes_musings/

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